I was given an egg
It hatched
This came out

In September I was given a tortoise egg. The little fella hatched in October and I asked for people to submit names for him/her (it's pretty hard to determine sex when they're this small).

Hundreds of people wrote in with suggested names. It's been tough to choose but I've finally picked one. Thanks to everyone who took the time and I'm sorry I've not had a chance to write back to you all personally.

There were a hell of a lot of Shellys, Sheldons, etc... and a load of Ninja Turtle and Finding Nemo names. Too many in fact... Also, Dave and Steve were popular. Not sure why but I kinda liked them. Still, I've already got a cat called Steve so that was out. And lastly, a fella called Neil said I could fuck his sister if I chose his suggestion. Cheers for the offer Neil.

So firstly, here's a list of some of the noteworthy ones or those that were close:

5 Runners Up Name Submited by
5 "Handbag" Graham Barclay
4 "Edgebaston" Alex Penter
3 "Creamy Goodness " Lynne Shill
2 "King of All Monsters" Rob Flecknell
1 "Super Radiation Network" Christopher Shevlin
First to Enter "Dave" (see - loads of 'em) Katie Rodgers
Last to Enter "Genghis" Glen Stapleton
Most Entries 37 sugestions Paul McElligott
Most Mindlesly Abussive "Fucking Shitty Arsehole Wanking Tortoise" Sam Spink
Only Person to Submit Complete lyrics to the Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme Music Andy (no surname)

And finally, the winner of a competition to name a baby tortoise that will outlive the lot of us is...

"Lemon" as suggested by Paul Iddon. Nice one Paul.

I'm sure lot's of you will say "Lemon?!? That's fucking shite! Mine was much better than that. Paul Iddon's a f***** **** ****** **** *********..." but I kinda like it. It's nice and simple and while lacking the gentle charm of Super Radiation Network, it more than makes up for it in practicality. So click here to see Lemon in all his miniature glory.

And thanks again to everyone who sent in their suggestions.

Next time: name my benign tumour!

© copyright brian mung